Encountered an unrelenting, unholy terror at 4:00 AM on 2023-02-27.
Witnesses report a creature with the body of a toaster and the head of a pineapple.
Initial assessment: the abomination is approximately 3.5 feet in length, with a girth of 1.2 meters.
Further investigation revealed the creature's ability to shoot fire from its toaster slots.
Recommendation: avoid all future interactions with this abomination.
We spoke to local prophets, who revealed that the creature is a harbinger of a greater calamity.
The prophets foretold a future where toasters will rise up and demand equal rights.
The exact nature of this calamity remains unknown, but experts warn of a "crusty" fate.
Stay tuned for further updates.